Realization ~ Lapis Lazuli

Lapis Lazuli on Mt. Warning
"I am Free in my World, I am the path of Realization"

I trigger people. I'm very good at it. For most of my life I thought people didn't like me. I made up for this by trying too hard to please. If I smile at you, you'll like me. If I give you gifts, you'll like me. If I'm nice to you, you'll like me. If I tell you what you want to hear to make you feel better, you'll like me. Too much of myself was given away in an attempt to find acceptance from other people. Then I realized the truth. That people really didn't like me because I wasn't being authentic. I was reflecting dishonesty and compromise, deceit and manipulation. 

Through new eyes I see that I intimidate people with my passion and intensity to live a rich and abundant life. I desire honesty! I desire to live fully! I desire to know you in your grace as well as your grief! I know I am intense, with my beauty, with my Love, with my openness, with my vulnerability, with my wounds, with my harshness, with my lack of confidence, with my power, with my wisdom, with my bullshit, with my ugliness, with whatever it is you see in me that triggers discomfort in you. I feel it in you too. 

I am happy to be a catalyst for myself and others on a soul level. This hurts the surface ego like hell, feels like dying, and it is, trust me! (Or not, it's your choice). I've tried living to fit the ideal mold of success, to be a leader, to generate people in my life who appreciate who I am. To build and create a foundation so that enough people can give me money and praise, supporting me to live so that I can keep sharing what I am passionate about. I keep thinking that I have to be popular and well known in order to be a success. That I have to be famous in order to be heard and respected. That I need to be seen by others before I can see myself. Even in the admission of these discoveries, I shift into embracing the darkness of my soul, of seeing my ego that is hurting in the sea of fear. In this recognition, I embrace her, my child, my inner self. I cuddle her and just hold her until she feels whole and not abandoned. 

I keep coming back to knowing that my service to God and humanity is catalyzing people to discover their own truths about themselves. Not to lead, not to be a guru, but to simply be, and help people discover within them what I already see in them. I've put together workshops and dates for people to discover their souls through art and play, and they are not full or sold out. Does this mean I don't show up? Does this mean I am not a leader? Does this mean this or that? Maybe it just means that is not the direction I am supposed to take. I feel so complete in myself and authentic with others when I show up one on one, or in a small group. Maybe I'm not meant to lead millions - a superhuman blow to my ego who always wanted to be someone special. However in my desire to know myself and walk my purpose, I am shown over and over and over again that silence is golden. Just showing up in humility is enough, changing hearts through the effects of one at a time. I know I am speaking from my womb because my passion rises, excitement builds and I feel my own special purpose. I feel whole. So why do I keep trying to "go big" when my soul is telling me to just stay present and be okay with being unseen? 

Because I feel people are missing out on the sacred gifts I have to offer. I feel I should always be doing something bigger and better, challenging myself and continually growing beyond my limitations.

Leap of Faith

I ask people "Is it so hard to take a Leap of Faith? Just once, then again, then again, to discover the ever expanding growth of your heart and soul? You've done it before. Where and when in your life have you taken leaps of faith? What was your outcome? Do you have the courage to do it again, in full consciousness?"  This is your only life, right here, right now. What do you want from it? 

I have not the charisma, fast wit and articulation to be a public speaker. (Maybe, maybe just not yet. I never rule anything out!) I flub up. ALL the time! I like writing and being an artist because I can take my time, breathing between sentences and expressions that want to come through. I feel that because I am not neatly wrapped up like every other package, complete with pretty bow and gift tag that says "Opportunity", you reject me. You reject discovering another piece of your soul that will lead you so sovereign knowing. I feel sad for you, for I know what it's like to be in this place. I also know that it takes much courage to take that first leap, heck, it takes courage to take the 100th and 1000th leap as well! But I promise you, it does get easier, the pain of fear dissipates, you eventually stop judging the world and everyone in it, knowing that all is in the perfection of Divine Order. Allowing everyone to have their own journeys at their own pace, whilst keeping up with the excavation of your own path you're walking. 

I see you, I know you, I Love you

You are beautiful and held in the perfection of God's eyes. 

Nothing else matters.

When I say this to you, I say it to myself, as we are all mirrors. I invite you to see the truth of who you are through me, and to be courageous and vulnerable enough so that I may see myself in you.
Then we can really play Free! 

Namaste, 

Gaia El

www.expressionsofgaia.com ~ to view and purchase art that has flowed through this artist ~ Thank you

For more information on Lapis Lazuli and other crystals as a manifestation tool for Realization and your soul, please contact me and visit www.theliquidcrystals.com. I can give you a personalized reading of your life purpose and current healing path, and distribute select liquid crystal remedies in the United States. Or connect with a practitioner you feel you resonate with - (see practitioner page on the website) 

It's about Unity, not isolation and separation and competition.

I'll make a difference because I will have lived it.

Check out this amazing video by Nahko Bear that is making a difference

SPRING  SNOW

A Poem by Gaia

Or you can watch this video on YouTube and share it here: Spring Snow by Gaia
Music of "Te Amo" by Armand Amar

I was out for a walk the other day, and presence just befell upon me. I was grateful to have my phone so I could record the expression that wanted to flow through. I felt compelled to turn it into a video of Love I have for God, myself, my children, nature, et al. I'm still learning the old imovie program, but whatever feels to move through, I feel to go with the flow.

Surpassing the continual wave of feelings of I'm not good enough, I move to the place within myself that says I'm going to explore this anyway, even if it is only me who appreciates it, that is good enough. Gee Jack, that's Handy.

InJoy, and if there is anyone reading this I would love to see what you have created!

Namaste,
Gaia El

Spring Snow

The days grow longer as winter turns to spring. On my travels, out for a walk, I soak up the sun, its warmth beating down on my shoulders, on the soft white skin of my beautiful goddess body. I breath in the smell of the freshly uncovered grass, the springs of water trickling through the mud. Along my walk I discover patches of snow that have not yet melted. I stop for a moment, walk over to a patch of snow, gently uncovering the top layers of the snow, I reach in to the clean, crisp, cold texture of the last remaining snow of the spring. Grabbing a handful, I squeeze it together making it a ball, its cold ice tingling all the nerves in my hands. I put the ice ball to my mouth, my tongue can taste the freshness. Ahhhh, fresh coolness of the snow. There is a distinct flavor that comes to me, reminding me of my childhood of going out as a little child, spending hours and hours and hours in the snow, playing, shoveling, creating snow structures, snowmen, submarines, eating icicles. The taste of the snow takes me to the heart of my inner child. Puts a smile on my face, it stops everything that I am doing and keeps me present in this moment. With that warm sun on my face, and the cool snow in my mouth, the crisp air to breath, I feel God. I feel Creation, Nature in this place in my body, nurturing my soul, slowing me down, bringing me into peace. Ahhhhhh yeah, mmmmm..... I find the quiet within as the birds sing around me, as the dogs run around and bark, wagging their tails, as the children explore the mud in the streams, I find this sovereign place of quiet. And though I am moving, I am so very still. So very still. Ahhhhh... gratitude. I return home once more. Mmmmmmm..... Namaste