Ever find yourself with an abundance of time on your hands? I do, all the time.
I am riddled with choices.
Okay, it's 10 pm, I could:
- go to sleep
- watch a movie
- hug my children
- stare into space
- sit in a bath or hot tub
- pray, meditate, yoga
- I could eat some dessert
- do my homework
- paint, create art
- write a poem or book
- pick my nose
- stretch
- masturbate
- send an email
- play on the internet
- write a letter
- listen to myself fart and appreciate how good the release feels
- OR.......
Choices, all of these. And none of them are wrong. Or right. I don't stress anymore about not having enough time to do everything, as I realize that it does not matter what I do or don't do. I no longer feel the burden of finishing the infinite to-do list of stuff I've created in my life. I clearly see the time in the moment, and check in, feeling what action (or non-action) feels right to take next. While I could multitask, I like to make sure I am present, giving myself fully to what I am doing.
In doing so, even though I seemingly have 100 different projects started, I find I can only give myself to the one project that calls to me in inspiration at a time. I'll be inspired to paint, and spend hours painting, then not paint for a few weeks. Or write, or photograph, or... anything else. I choose to spend my time playing in whatever form of inspiration flows through, and it feels like my days are long and I have so much time on my hands, no stress, not in overwhelm, just a lot of peace. Everything eventually gets done if it's meant to, and falls away without attachment if it's not meant to be finished.
In doing so, even though I seemingly have 100 different projects started, I find I can only give myself to the one project that calls to me in inspiration at a time. I'll be inspired to paint, and spend hours painting, then not paint for a few weeks. Or write, or photograph, or... anything else. I choose to spend my time playing in whatever form of inspiration flows through, and it feels like my days are long and I have so much time on my hands, no stress, not in overwhelm, just a lot of peace. Everything eventually gets done if it's meant to, and falls away without attachment if it's not meant to be finished.
However, I do pray a lot during whatever activity, even when the prayer is a simple acknowledgment to God, or giving gratitude for whatever is moving through. Like writing this, I can feel His breath move through me. Because I consciously ask for it. I am grateful for it. I am open to receive it. And I want to share it! I allow myself time to stop and take a breath whenever I need one. More and more I grow consistent with this habit, more and more love, bliss and joy I feel in my body, my soul.
Even when I am in an emotion that is frustrating or painful, I am grateful, for I know and have experienced this burning through the veils and layers to come back into the truth. How could I Not be thankful for this? How could I not give this magnificent Glory to God?
And in this, whatever I choose to spend my time doing has my prayer, the essence of our Creator within it, so anything I spend my time doing is always perfect.
Namaste
EXTACY
Opium
den
Surrounds
me
I'm
enthralled
With
lust
Naked
bodies
Dance
in the night
Merging
with each other
Not
one beginning or end
Taken
into the grips
Of
the Silver Dragon
Penetrated
Shaft
of light fills me
Cold
stainless steel
Then
silver metal
Nickel,
Titanium
Platinum
Thrilled
with powerlessness
Unable
to move
Save
for the writhing
Organic
lust dance
Taste
me
I
long to feel you in me
Serenaded
with your smiles
The
promise of your heart
I
care not
But
to be
Fully
devoured
In
this moment
Sticky
sweet
This
exotic lust
I
open myself to you
So
that I may feel again
Gaia El Aon
June 2012
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