Tasting LOVE

1/4/11

Cell food, eyebrows waxed, a bit of pampering, colonic and massage appts, taking better care of my skin and body. Only with fresh and renewed intensity will I continue to change myself. No half-assed laziness will change me. I get this jolt whenever I detoxify my body, and though I tend to take it easy during the cleanse, I always feel better after the third day. This time it was after two days that the headaches, sweating and nausea went away. I keep going because I know I’m not finished yet. It’s not about completing a certain number of days, but being in tune with my body to know when she says to keep going, or we're ready to stop.

Setting a goal is helpful to start, but having the flexibility to change it along the way is the best way to stay in my truth. Some might say that is lack of commitment, maybe for them, but my lack of commitment shows up when I stop, not when I change a bit along the way. If I set out with a goal to walk from point A to point B, and along the way there is a great big cliff, most likely I won’t walk myself off the cliff, but I will turn, walk a different direction and find a way to keep going. Could be I never get to point B, I may end up at valley C, the goal could end up being all in the journey trying to get there.

OB ~ nothingness

Dakar sounded oon rahum as we talk ourselves back into commitment with one another. I find myself with my hands on my womb, citrine candle lit, in such silent stillness. It is not for me to sound tonight, even though that was the original goal. I am taken to a place of nothing, just silent peace for a long time, no thoughts, no visions, no memory…then deep sleep…

Of course, it was only a deep sleep until Dakar starts to yoni gaze me. I watch him preparing with kindness and respect for himself and me, to create a space of comfort. Even though I wanted to sleep in this peacefulness I was in, he wouldn’t take my soft “No’s”. As he gazed me, I was again in a peaceful space, admiring the feelings of LOVE he was encouraging into my yoni, with all of her pain and joy, the ups and downs of this ride we’ve embarked upon, I could only remember feeling a deep sense of grace that I’ve only been able to find when I am at peace for myself, if only to glimpse it for some moments, tasting it, knowing our work will bring us ever closer to fully living in this experience every day. 

Namaste