FOR GIVING

 

Day 47 ~ 11/16/10

I had a lunch date set up with a friend. I called her after waiting for 25 minutes, wondering where she was. She had simply forgotten. I used to call people (clients) to remind them of our meeting, I value my time and don’t like to waste it wondering if someone is going to show up or not.

Now, most of the time I don’t call on purpose, unless I know that the person has flaky habits and I already know that they will forget to show up if I don’t remind them. I feel like it is people’s own responsibility to remember to show up, especially if we just set up the date a day or two in advance. How hard is it to remember, or write it down? Is that not going with the flow, or is that being in integrity with your word? (However, I DO appreciate it when my dentist calls to remind me of our appointment that was set up 6 months in advance…I don’t always remember that appointment!)

Nevertheless, I’ve grown tired of policing people, and I take the chance of being blown off, or not, by not calling. I am kind of using this as a way of testing myself, to see if I go into judgment one way or another. If I do, I ask myself why, and if I don’t then no worries. So when she didn’t show up, (after 10 minutes I felt like she wasn’t coming) I was able to sit outside in the sun, chatting with my mom on the phone, then eating my lunch on a wonderful fall day, talking with perfect strangers who happened to sit down next to me.

I was also grateful to run into a dear friend who I haven’t seen for a while. He and his wife had recently returned from a trip to Indonesia, a place where I’d LOVE to visit. He shared with me the amazing adventures they had, and how beautiful the local people were. The land has gotten quite a negative rap for being a bad place to visit, but once again, people’s perceptions have a way of meaning absolutely nothing most of the time.

So even though one set of plans fell through, another divine plan came along to replace it, and it was just as good, if not better! No need to get mad or upset, this is the epitome of going with the flow. How can one receive anything new if they are holding on so tightly to the old? Doesn’t matter what it is, this conclusion works in every single aspect of life.

The snow is coming, and Dakar has a snow removal business. He is working on selling it to truly reclaim his freedom, but for now, he is still working it, and learning life lessons every step of the way. When he’s not fully prepared, he gets pretty edgy, stressed out, and downright annoying (to me), demanding perfection from everyone including himself, and harshly judging when it doesn’t happen the way he wants it to. Today, a vendor that he has been using for the past 16 years, who have always been there for him and they have a great working relationship with one another, made a mistake due to lack of communication, Dakar lost his peace within and allowed his shadow to take over. He told me that he was never, ever going to do business with them again. I asked him how on earth his business would have ever survived and grown if people didn’t give him a second chance, or third, or fourth, fifth and sixth? I understand that he was angry in the moment, and probably just needed to blow off the steam.

It brought up a good point though, where have you (I) lost our compassion toward others in a stressful situation? Have you ever discontinued a relationship due to your own judgments? Have you ever not given someone a second chance? Do you feel bad or guilty about it ~ enough to be humble and forgiving about it? If we only gave each person one chance, we would quickly run out of options! We would all be traveling the world until over 6 billion people were exhausted as our contacts!

I have made lots of mistakes in business and in life, and people have cut ties with me, and me them. I remember one client that I had a regular floral account with. They gave me creative license to do whatever I wanted because they trusted my work. So one particular arrangement I made for them they didn’t care for – it was out of the ordinary, but not over the top at all – still very conservative and widely requested by other customers. They said “You’ve done so much work for us and we have loved every single one of your arrangements, but not this one.” I replaced it for them at no charge with a bouquet that I know they are always happy to receive, and let them keep both bouquets….and they never ever used me as a florist again. This allowed me the opportunity to judge them as being petty and mean, and I let everyone know about it. Classic case of Lose/Lose scenario.

It doesn’t really matter that they didn’t continue to use my services, but I was not in a place to understand how to let it go in that moment (and for months afterward). This happens so often, what restaurant do you not go to anymore because you had bad food once? What store, place or friend have you discontinued visiting because of this unforgiving behavior? Is it worth it? What action(s) can you take in your life right now to make it better, let it go, or simply change the way it is affecting you? Make a list and get started, we all have them!

As Dakar and I began our work tonight, we started off by rubbing each other with eucalyptus oil on our backs and necks. My back was still hurting, I continue to tweak it by moving boxes and preparing for our move at the end of the month, not giving myself adequate time to heal, and Dakar tweaked his neck by staying stressed out. I think he was just jealous of my hurt back and he wanted to be a victim too – how’s that – sympathy victims! Ha ha ha! Waah waah waah! Somebody call Whine – one - one and get the Waaaambulance for us please!

As I was rubbing the oil on Dakar’s back, touching him I could see his heart still surrounded in armor. There was a decent amount of light shining through the armor, and flakes of skin colored energy were being released from his back, rising and dissolving back into source energy. The deeper into Dakar’s body I looked, the darker and denser these flakes became, solidifying around his heart, making up the core of his body. (This is not new for me, when I am truly connecting with my own self, I can touch someone and see visual clues that tell me what is going on in their life. I started noticing it when I was getting massages, seeing angels, Buddha’s, colors, etc. and validating them with the massage therapists, and of course Dakar. I feel like one day I won’t have to physically touch someone to receive this information, that I’ll be able to tune in from anywhere and have access. I can already do this with some plants and trees, and with my kids and some close family members…)

I began my ovary breathing and in an instant a beautiful light grid was in and surrounding my ovaries! I can see the flow of energy and lighted geometric shapes, trillions of them – like snowflakes – each combining together to make a larger connection, each emitting its own light to combine and make a tremendous cooperative glow of energy. Not as much effort is required when I am on my moon time to tap into my emotions and the deep well of my being…it does feel as if my ovaries will explode! I feel like it is this concentrated energy flowing through places within that have been dormant for hundreds or thousands of years. Its going in and cleaning out my dark secrets, exercising muscles that have been shoved aside, collecting dust and drama. Whew, this is some work here, but still worth it!

Namaste