Pain and Forgiveness

Day 33 ~ 11/2/10

Ugg…I’ve been consuming more organic dark chocolates for my sweet treats and haven’t eaten a lot of processed sugars in the past year or two. I caved into temptation and ate some of the kid’s candy. I guess I am not at the point where I can automatically transform this energy into nothingness…cuz I don’t feel so good…! Back to the raw foods and the fresh juiced veggies for me! 

On top of this, my teeth were adjusted today, the metal in my mouth from the braces I am currently wearing was changed and tweaked. I went in to the dentist a couple years ago to fix my fake tooth in the front of my mouth. Well, several options and months of deliberating about the validity of wearing braces - was it vanity? If I didn’t get them, the dentist had some very invasive procedures that could be done, but would ruin my natural teeth forever. If I didn’t get them, the way I have been clenching and grinding my teeth over the past decade was evidence that I would eventually grind my teeth into stubs in the future. Anyway, as I don’t currently know how to grow my own new teeth, I decided to get them. Sometimes the adjustments are painful, but then I get used to it. Hey, it’s like life!

Tonight while doing our ovary breathing, they’re still in pain. I wonder if that is supposed to happen? It feels like something is stuck there, and that with dedicated practice and further exploring into the pain, I will be able to heal them.

After a day of moving inventory and selling off stuff, I was in physical pain, and had a sugar bubble headache from the not so good candy. I was exhausted and it was apparent in my efforts of doing Oon Rahum tonight. Reaching into Gaia for power, sending it up to the heavens, and exploring the pathway into the Galactic center, well, this was the goal anyway. I could visually witness that my energy was piss poor, seeing a bubble of energetic goop rising up from my womb and going upwards no farther than my bended knees.

I was very much in my mind and ungrounded, realizing that I need to keep my body healthy in order to fully connect. Yes, I slipped back into eating sugar and not exercising, keeping my body weak. It was a good reminder to stay focused on being clean within in order to be stronger spiritually, and in every other way. Maybe I’ll take a trip to the chiropractor and realign myself, start again fresh tomorrow…