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| Adrenaline |
Day 67 ~ 12/06/10
My body has been generating an incredible amount of heat while I sleep. Everyday I’ve been waking up with my womb and back wet and sweaty, my bed is a hot plate! Emily cam in this morning and laid under the covers next to me for a couple of minutes. She looked straight into my eyes and says “Wow Mom, you’re really hot just like the sun!” :~)
Bloodstone is the stone of purification and it was amazing to see how she worked with me today. I met with a couple of representatives of our local high school to give them some leftover product I had from the flower shop (I still had a van full of supplies to donate.) They ended up taking two cars full vases and stuff. I wasn’t excited or sad to be donating to them. I was in a space of “this just is”. I found myself just going through the day with a joyful presence, happy to just be on this day.
“The green ray presented by this stone (bloodstone) is highly purifying of the emotions and encourages one to stay in a space if integrity, honor and truth. This is the sacred stone of the Egyptian goddess Ma’at, she is responsible for the weighing of the contents of one’s heart after a lifetime, a measure of purity and wisdom to determine future lives.” (pg. 77 Liquid Crystal Oracle by Justin Moikeha Asar)
I went to a yoga basics class with Dakar and he came out pissy that the class moved so fast. Then I became mad at him because I still allow his moods to effect me. If he was truly over it like he said he was, then wouldn’t I have felt him as neutral and not negative? When I am around Dakar lately it feels like my emotional reactions are on edge and possibly blown out of proportion. Diving into intense work with a partner is both super hard, yet rewarding, as the constant in your face issues that only a partner can bring up is realized. I remind myself to breathe to expand my life force, purify and expand my heart. This yoga class tonight helped me touch on a strong core center and opening of the heart, as well as softening and surrendering – something I really need to work on!
The time came for me to sit present in a transmission aided by a good friend to remove the dagger from my 3rd eye. I was ready to be done with it, move beyond my fears and discover why I put it there in the first place. I worked with bloodstone and malachite and noticed my left hip get really hot and a severe pain in my right ovary. In meditation, I could feel the powerful surge of energy entering the back of my neck, like a lightening bolt of white heat sizzling into my body. My head was being massaged, creating space and softening the area around the blade. I felt to use my hands and gently pull out the dagger myself with compassion and love, thanking it for its duty, pulling out all of its threads and commanding this dagger to dissolve.
Immediately after watching the dagger be removed, and my brain wanting to disbelieve the process, my heart began to ache, as though I was having a heart attack. I could feel the excruciating toward the back of my heart, between my shoulder blades. I stripped naked and laid down feeling energy pour throughout my body. Some spots held enormous pain, some spots allowed the energy to flow through. I breathed myself to sleep and trusted my body and soul to complete this process.
Waking up at 4 am I felt alive, vibrant and completely recharged! I was ready to get up and start my day, fresh and more energized than I have felt in a long time. I breathed all of this energy back into my body and went back into a meditative sleep on purpose. I felt into the space where the dagger had been placed several thousand years ago and felt an empty hole, like the wound is now a puncture or an open cut and needs to heal and close. I feel a calm energy rush in and around, like a vortex swirling in my 3rd eye, soft and lighter. My being feels cleansed, purified and forgiving on a deep level. I watch as the dagger is now placed on a ceremonial table with people in their beautiful clothing gather around as if to honor the table of daggers…what does the dagger wish to communicate with me now?
I don’t know what it means now or how I will be effected, but am paying attention!
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| Adrenaline Rush |
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