Teamwork

Angels in Sesion

Day 75 ~ 12/14/10

A soft breath flowing through my ovary breathing into my feminine circuitry, not a hard, intense power, but a soft, silent power, flowing through…keeping me soft and staying in my heart and womb even with disrupting energy around me that would have set me off into an explosive reaction before.

As Dakar and I continue to relate to the IRS from a different viewpoint I understand that this issue is not necessarily about money. For our whole relationship we have been living separate financial lives. He pays for most of everything, and I pay for little bits here and there, separate bank accounts, separate postal boxes, separate bills for our businesses. We have a joint personal account, but I never bother with it, and he is the one who takes care of all the household bills as well.

He wants me to help him gather information for our taxes, I have no idea what he is asking me for. I realize that he is in fear about many things and he wants me to be involved. Some of me is in avoidance because I think the whole thing is a joke, but it’s not going to go away until we finish dealing with it. While we are in a conversation completely disagreeing with one another, I find that this is an opportunity for us to finally figure out how to work together. As we bond and dissolve on more levels spiritually, we must also bond on a physical level.

I understand that this is a way to figure out how to communicate so we are no longer separate. We have prided ourselves on our individuality, but for me, this has led to not feeling like I am an integral part of our “relationship”. We talk about how we can communicate in a clearer way, how we speak with each other and how we respect each other. I feel like even if it is not my journey to directly deal with the IRS, it is my journey to bring a sense of stability into our relationship, grounding myself, that I may be a pillar of soft, powerful support, so that Dakar may feel held together when he is dealing with the finances. It is clearly a time to realize that we are a team, we each have our own unique strengths and weaknesses, and we should work together so we are collectively stronger, not trying to do everything by ourselves. I guess I have never truly functioned well as a team. I have always enjoyed being alone, even though I have great admiration for those who are able to communicate and work together and produce an amazing outcome, in whatever genre.

I run my Shakti circuit and feel sensitive in every pathway, exploring the feelings, the heat, the cool, the flow of energy just moving through me. I feel like the calmness I have been in the past few days is effecting the kids, they seem more focused and appreciative of my love for them. They are hugging me longer, tighter. I can feel the love seeping through them! Emily hugs me and says “Wow Mom, it’s like your heart is pounding so hard it’s going to explode right out of your chest!”

I can feel the wounds created my the dagger actually healing. I share these experiences with my mom, and I can tell she wants to believe me, but she has resistance to my story. It’s really okay, I am no longer bound by her opinions running my life, and I have so much more respect for her and where she is at, accepting that is her truth, not necessarily mine. I can feel my Christ self coming out, leaking through me, showing me that I have more work to do, being okay with that and also allowing myself to rest and continue to recalibrate to where my soul is truly coming from.

I have been not keeping up with my writing again, the waves come and go. It feels as if to journal I am not in the moment. I go back through the feelings I was experiencing and they turn to mind memories, and it takes me away from this moment. I also feel like I will catch up and keep it up because writing has proven to be able to take me on a much deeper, inquisitive and honest journey within.

Until next time, Namaste