I Feel Clean!

Maitreya's Secret Garden

 

Day 68 ~ 12/07/10         

Wow. Today was just a very nice, quiet and incredibly peaceful day. I was able to go outside and work in the sunshine for a while…warm enough to be in my tank top even with all of the snow on the ground. I feel so very clean.

Then Dakar came home and my ovaries immediately start to hurt again. I really don’t understand WHY!!! I breathe into my ovaries and my body, trying to become bigger than my issues. Does that really work all the time? Am I just faking that I can be bigger than my issues without really diving deep into them? It hasn’t worked to just “put a smile on my face and they’ll go away.” I want to understand why I feel this way, I am so tired of this suffering. Why do I feel better when he is not physically around me? Before it was just emotional pain, now its fiery hot physically piercing pain? How can I love this man so much yet continue to stay trapped in suffering while I’m around him? Is it his fault? Is it all my story? I was hoping last nights dagger removal would magically cure all of this suffering and we could live happily ever after. Disney ~ boo frickin hoo.

During my ovary breathing tonight, trying to calm the pain, I immediately see columns and rows of people on both sides of the well that is me, Yeshua is above. I watch as the enormous amount of energy surrounding all of us descends into light, coming back and swirling around me. Riding this wave through my channels, I notice people all around, people who have done the work before me, standing there to support this journey, animating a very clean energy throughout my body.

I’m still not at the point where I know how to interpret my meditative visions. Sometimes I just know what they mean, sometimes I have no clue what they mean. Does it even matter? I know that Dakar and I will work through this, something big is about to be revealed…I just know it! I also feel that it will bring about a much anticipated peace that I have been searching for…

I looked up who Lord Maitreya is, and while religious beliefs widely vary (what else is new?) I feel blessed that (he) would show up for me in this integral part of my journey. Now I understand why the presence and meditations of Yeshua has been so strong lately. “Christians know Him as the Christ, and expect His imminent return. Jews await Him as the Messiah; Hindus look for the coming of Krishna; Buddhists expect Him as Maitreya Buddha; and Muslims anticipate the Imam Mahdi or Messiah.”

On my knees in gratitude, I thank you.

Namaste