Crazy Chillin

Day 78 ~ 12/17/10

This morning I relaxed into a massage from a woman with amazing hands as she gave me a relaxing Hawaiian style Lomi Lomi massage. I could barely feel her hands touching me, but instead, I felt waves of energy rolling across my body, as if the energy that was the extension of her physical hands was massaging me. I have been feeling intense heat in my womb and I started sweating again on her table. I had the notion to run my ovary breath while I was lying down receiving the massage and the heat within me ripples throughout every cell of my body, every pore of my skin.

When the massage was complete she left the room and I ran my Shakti circuit, still lying face down on the table. I have no idea where I went, I just know that I left the room for a while until a car went by on the road, bringing me back to physical consciousness. I looked up and out of the window saw the most ordinary tree in all her majesty that moment, sparkling with she snow and ice on her branches, the pristine white reminding me of absolute purity.

Shakti held her presence throughout the day, for as I was driving back from the massage, two guys were standing on the side of the road in the snowstorm. One stuck his thumb out and I pulled over to give them a ride in town. They had been waiting for the bus for quite some time, and as they saw my car coming, he felt in that moment to try to hitchhike, as they had not done earlier. Such is the flow of Shakti, and I was able to give them a ride to their desired destination, a tattoo shop – though it was not in the flow of my Shakti in this moment to join them in getting inked!

Every song I listen to with the word “Crazy” in it seems to make more sense than anything else. I feel like I am stepping into and living in a different dimension. The artwork coming through is completely different, reminds me more of space and the galaxy, reminds me of home. As I meditate on my womb mandala, I see it more in 3D, up in the galaxy, rotating around the stars, and yet, I feel strangely grounded. What song would you add?

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley 
"Come on now, who do you
Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?
Ha ha ha, bless your soul
You really think you're in control?"

Crazy by Seal
“In a world full of people 
only some want to fly
isn’t that crazy…

well we’re never gonna survive 
unless we get a little crazy…”
 

Crazy by James
"This magic world, this magic world
This magic world, it inspires

With the faith that I was born with
In my schooling in the forges
Time has lost it's power to do it's worst
But I don't mean to bore you
With the details of my story
Can't help myself, help myself I conspire

This magic world, this magic world
This magic world, it inspires

I'm not crazy I'm just laughing at myself
I can look so strong yet feel so insecure
I'm not crazy I'm just laughing at myself
Even when I look so strong I feel so small

This is the face that I was born with
In a race I can't keep up with
Separate the stardust from the dirt
But I don't mean to bore you
With the details of my story
Can't help myself help myself I'm a liar

But I'm not crazy I'm just laughing at myself
I can look so strong and yet feel so insecure
No I'm not crazy I'm just laughing at myself
Even when I look so strong I feel so small
No I'm not crazy I'm just laughing at myself
I don't know if I'm the poison or the cure"

My mom is caring and concerned that I may have a brain aneurism and I should see a doctor if my memory continues to escape me. Funny thing is, I am calm and I know exactly what is happening to me. I haven’t experienced it in this lifetime before, but I am told from within it is just a readjustment, part of the process of my body syncing into a different energy. No reactions, just choice moments and response. I feel it’s easier to explore it by not having a job or distracting work. It can be done, but when I feel like I want to sit and contemplate or meditate anywhere for a minute or a while at a moments notice, it is easier to know that I have the time to do so. My family is getting used to it!

Namaste