Rose Quartz

Day 17 ~ 10/17/10

On my own again this evening, no matter how much I complain, I am so grateful to have a partner! Tonight I wondered what would happen if I switched my hands up while holding my yoni, sending love and gratitude to this beautiful first gate. I felt to take some Rose Quartz liquid crystals before I began, some of these daddy issues could use a bit of diving into. Find out more about Liquid Crystals.

My left, feminine hand had me exploring tremendous swirling colors, like a pastel painting, brush strokes in Monet fashion. Goose down fluffy feathers, soft and fluffy cotton candy clouds, swallowed up by the grace’s embrace, tasting of love in its finest glory. Mmmmmm….staying here for the time being…

My right hand took me straight into the dark rivers of my heart. Whew…breathing, breathing, breathing! I discovered some immediate jealousy issues with a dear friend who I notice I’ve somewhat distanced myself from. I love that she can always freely express exactly who she is whenever and wherever, and I’ve longed for this ability within myself to do so. I’ve always been sort of a chameleon, following the lead of others, fitting in, blending very well, but always losing myself in the process because I don’t know what my true colors are.

I started second guessing any kind of limits to pushing through boundaries of fear. I could be like Jim Carrey in “Yes Man”, saying Yes to everything, but sometimes it is okay to say NO – and that would be pushing through fear as well.

Saying Yes to pushing through the fear of alcohol, doesn’t necessarily mean I have to experience a highly addictive drug like heroin or cocaine, maybe to get over my fear of it I could go to a rehab center, or immerse myself in a community for a bit that is experiencing this addiction, so that I may transform my judgments about these drugs.

Tattoos - ? I don’t necessarily have a fear of getting one, but of getting the wrong one. What if I don’t like what I chose in a few years? What if there is truth to the ink being really toxic for my body? What if I start stamping my tramp stamp because gravity has taken it’s toll and my skin is now sagging under my feet? (ha ha ha!) Life puts enough tattoos on me as it is!

Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
-- Billy Elmer

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

I remember when, I remember

I remember when I lost my mind

There was something so pleasant about that place

Even your emotions have an echo

In so much space

And when you’re out there, without care

Yeah, I was out of touch

But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough

I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?

Does that make me crazy?

Does that make me crazy?

Possibly

And I hope that you are

Having the time of your life

But think twice

That’s my only advice

Come on now, who do you

Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?

Ha ha ha, bless your soul

You really think you’re in control?

Well, I think you’re crazy

I think you’re crazy

I think you’re crazy

Just like me

My heroes had the heart

To lose their lives out on a limb

And all I remember

Is thinking, I want to be like them

Ever since I was little

Ever since I was little

It looked like fin

And it’s no coincidence I’ve come

And I can die when I’m done

But maybe I’m crazy

Maybe you’re crazy

Maybe we’re crazy

Probably

Sung by Gnarls Barkley

Songwriters: Reverberi, Gian Piero, burton, Brian Joseph, Gianfranco, Callaway Thomas Decarlo  (according to metrolyrics(dot)com)

Namaste